So there's a room in the house where my dad has been putting odds an ends over the year. This was once the room my mother used for painting (I've inherited her brushes and other artists equipment, as I inherited her desire if not talent to be a graphic artist, a pursuit I will probably ever see fulfilled, but that's another story). Since her passing, and my removal of all material that was of any use in the painter's craft, he's installed various metal racks along the wall, and shelving, and has filled it with a wild assortment of odds and ends. Not all of this material fits, and many boxes and containers have for some reason fallen off the walls and created an impassable mass that literally fills the majority of the room save for a small space just on the other side of the door.
I have been forbidden, essentially, from touching anything in that room. After the first time I opened the door and smelled it, I knew it was a problem. But my 90 year old father is adamant. Leave that room alone. So I have peered around the fallen boxes and metal objects and tools and appliances and other things in there to try to get an idea about what is causing the smell and have figured out it's probably mice and rat filth and other things associated with rodentia.
There's a similar situation in the shed out back, but this one includes a number of gasoline containers I can't seem to get rid of because they are "precious". But that's another story, for another time.
Gotta go. I need to look at the cell phone that won't work for my dad. It seems someone set him up with a very pricey Virgin Mobile plan he doesn't need and now it wants money ... I think ...
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Friday, March 28, 2014
Today's Trip to Home Depot
When you have a parent that's 90 years old, and has several physical problems, including bad hearing, they can be a bit problematic when you go to places like supermarkets and grocery stores. Today my dad wanted to go to Home Depot to look at drill presses.
He drove, of course. So he parked and had to walk across the parking lot to the store. That took a few minutes, then a necessary wait while he caught his breath and rested in front of the doors to Home Depot. (Yes, I offer to drive but that's just not going to happen, you see.) Then we amble into the store and look for the aisle where the drill presses are kept.
Being hard of hearing, my father sometimes talks very loudly when he speaks. He also needs you to talk loudly for the reply. And he has a habit of commenting about other people, including the overweight woman, the black family, and the indian man we passed on the way to the Ryobi display. He had comments to make along the way, including but not limited to:
He drove, of course. So he parked and had to walk across the parking lot to the store. That took a few minutes, then a necessary wait while he caught his breath and rested in front of the doors to Home Depot. (Yes, I offer to drive but that's just not going to happen, you see.) Then we amble into the store and look for the aisle where the drill presses are kept.
Being hard of hearing, my father sometimes talks very loudly when he speaks. He also needs you to talk loudly for the reply. And he has a habit of commenting about other people, including the overweight woman, the black family, and the indian man we passed on the way to the Ryobi display. He had comments to make along the way, including but not limited to:
- Look at that fat pig. She needs to learn how to put the fork down.
- Our neighborhood was good until the guy down the street started renting to niggers.
- Don't white people come in here?
Ok, now if you don't know him and read that you're probably thinking he's some kind of horrible bigot racist. The truth is that he is a product of his time. I was raised without hearing those comments, by the way, so he is very aware of how much damage they can do and made attempts to not inculcate his children with those attitudes. I like to think it worked.
You have to understand he expects a reply to those comments. So I make the most bland and public-service style of reply I can make and try to make it clear to any who overhear him that YES, HE'S OLD, HE'S NOT A DANGER TO ANYONE BUT HIMSELF, etc. So far this has always worked.
Anyway, we did what we wanted to do (look at a price on a drill press), and went home.
I went to work on the boat I've been rehabbing. Will spend the night on it tonight and see how that works.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Well the investigation continues on the bones found under the dock.
I've also discovered that I am in severe danger of losing my butt as I grow older. Dad walked through the living room the other day in his tighty whities, and I had to look twice to make sure I wasn't seeing things. No butt. No butt whatsoever. Just saggy whities. Is this diminished glute syndrome? Could Hank Hill be correct?
No, there's no picture of this.
I've also discovered that I am in severe danger of losing my butt as I grow older. Dad walked through the living room the other day in his tighty whities, and I had to look twice to make sure I wasn't seeing things. No butt. No butt whatsoever. Just saggy whities. Is this diminished glute syndrome? Could Hank Hill be correct?
No, there's no picture of this.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Premature Dockulation
While I have been busy working on some assignments for a company that wants articles written about various colleges around the US, I haven't had a lot of time to spend in the pursuit of dock repair. Of course this has made my father go a little crazy, since he wants to have the dock fixed NOW. Can't have everything, eh dad? At any rate his impatience has cost him, so far, $100 for a deck plate from a carnival cruise ship and $50 more to have a pair of dimwit hillbillies deliver it.
Now, I've said this before. You can get good deals from hillbilly dimwits, but if you don't watch it they'll rip you off like crazy and chuckle about how smart they were with that city slicker (if you know words with three or more syllables you're a city slicker, probably a fag too). Well, a pair of gap tooth mouth breathers saw the old man coming and sold him this. I think they tricked him with a US MARINE CORP bumper sticker on their pickup truck, but I'll never know what thought processes are misfiring in his head, making him misjudge things so terribly now. He used to be fairly good at those judgment calls. Not anymore.
So now he's at the store looking for fitting adapters so we can make this fit on the dock (in the background). More to come.
As I was clearing up some debris I encountered an old skull. Authorities were contacted. More to come on this as I find out where it came from, how it got under the rocks on the seawall, and if there are more bones in the seawall as I clean it up.
Now, I've said this before. You can get good deals from hillbilly dimwits, but if you don't watch it they'll rip you off like crazy and chuckle about how smart they were with that city slicker (if you know words with three or more syllables you're a city slicker, probably a fag too). Well, a pair of gap tooth mouth breathers saw the old man coming and sold him this. I think they tricked him with a US MARINE CORP bumper sticker on their pickup truck, but I'll never know what thought processes are misfiring in his head, making him misjudge things so terribly now. He used to be fairly good at those judgment calls. Not anymore.
So now he's at the store looking for fitting adapters so we can make this fit on the dock (in the background). More to come.
As I was clearing up some debris I encountered an old skull. Authorities were contacted. More to come on this as I find out where it came from, how it got under the rocks on the seawall, and if there are more bones in the seawall as I clean it up.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Oh boy...it's a Red State!
So I went for a bike ride today, it was such a great day. Then I ran into a true, down home red stater. And I had my camera!
If there is anything I hate more than bullies, it's a racist.
If there is anything I hate more than bullies, it's a racist.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Friday, March 21, 2014
Rain and wind erode the finest materials.
The third dock was not exactly made of the finest material, but it was perfectly usable until the other day when a storm blew through and rocked it around for a few hours. Here's a POV movie of me walking out on the dock that was destroyed, showing it before it fell apart.
And here's a picture of it now, before I pulled it apart.
And here's our hero removing the broken parts, the first stage of repair.
The third dock was not exactly made of the finest material, but it was perfectly usable until the other day when a storm blew through and rocked it around for a few hours. Here's a POV movie of me walking out on the dock that was destroyed, showing it before it fell apart.
And here's a picture of it now, before I pulled it apart.
And here's our hero removing the broken parts, the first stage of repair.
Here's a short appearance of my father. 90 years old.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Day of the Remote Control
My dad has a DVD player and a VCR attached to the television in the living room. He has another television in the kitchen and another television in the bathroom. Each one of these devices has a remote control. When he loses one, he often buys a "universal remote" controller and uses that instead. Today we attempted to use the DVD player. An two hours later he's a very frustrated 90 year old, and I have a pulled neck muscle, and the DVD player still won't work.
First we had to find the remote control that went to the DVD player. That necessitated a search and identify mission through the seat cushions of the easy chair, the couch, removal of several years worth of magazines, books and papers, with no remote being found. I did, however, find a .38 pistol in a plastic bag he keeps in the easy chair when it fell out and hit my foot. But I am getting ahead of myself.
The first twenty minutes were spent trying to explain to him that the DVD player had to have it's own remote control (no, the Universal remotes won't work - they don't have an open/close button for the tray). After I got that, the next fifteen minutes were spent figuring out the wiring between the auxiliary inputs and the Video input on the television and which remote worked with the VCR, and which input enabled it on the television. Then I had to explain that the VCR remote control won't work with the other devices, and the universal remote control won't work with the DVD player (see, it has an open/close function for the tray, which won't open with a button on the front of the DVD player, so I surmised it must have a dedicated remote control somewhere).
I knew this would happen one day and I have been dreading it. But it was a Clint Eastwood movie, so I figured what the hell. Clint Eastwood, man. Maybe I could get things going with a minimum of confusion.
Meanwhile, my father has collected every remote control in the house and has started going through them from device to device. No, that won't work. No, that doesn't work. Nope, not that one. Yup, that's the one for the kitchen.
In a moment of Einsteinien inspiration, I opened the cabinet next to the television. There was a remote control. It was the same brand as the DVD player. Ah, I thought. Success.
No button seemed to work anything on the DVD player. I removed the batteries and began to look for batteries in the drawers. I found them. About twenty. All in various states, all by different makers, so I removed the old batteries, noting their condition and maker, and noticed the corrosion filling the battery compartment. Ok, well I scraped off the terminals, selected the best looking candidates from all the AAA batteries I found, and started plugging them in, trying the remote, twisting, turning, etc.
Meanwhile, my father was busy with the pod of remote controls he had in his lap, pointing them at the television and changing channels, turning it off and on, changing functions to the VCR (no dad, that's not it, see the light on the DVR? We need the DVD light to go on and off.). During this process he managed to deprogram the television so it would not connect to cable. I know mare about the television remote control and cable setup now than I ever wanted to know. So, after I got the cable hooked up, programmed, and running normally again he made the comment that "sometimes the tv goes out by itself then comes back in a few hours or days. That's ok...."
So after a while messing around with the drawer full of batteries and playing with the DVD remote control I determined that I still might be using bad batteries. So, I took one remote control that worked and removed the batteries from it and swapped them with the ones in the DVD remote control. Still nothing.
Meanwhile, my dad has picked up the remote control w/o batteries and has been trying it on different televisions. His cussing alerted me to the fact he had put "new" batteries from the drawer into the remote control that had no batteries.
This is the point where I think I pulled my neck muscle.
So, holding the known good batteries, I have determined that the DVD remote control either doesn't work any more or the thing is broken. I explained this to my father while I set up the cable programming again on the television. Then I helped him to identify the remote control for the television in the living room and the universal that worked on it, and I put the batteries back into the remote control for the kitchen television. But I had mentioned the funky batteries, and my dad went and found a battery tester that looked like it was pulled of a classic model Buick car, and began testing batteries as he removed them from remote controls.
I explained again that we weren't going to be able to use the DVD player because it had only one remote control, with the manufacturer logo (A-Star), and it didn't work so don't bother with that one. Sensing increasing levels of his frustration, I decided then to return to my "cell" and find something to do while he tested batteries. An hour later he had finished and identified the working remotes for the various televisions and had them properly placed. Then he asked me if we could watch the Clint Eastwood movie in the DVD player.
"No, dad, the remote control ... the player ... it's broken. It doesn't work."
"Oh, well, sh*t. I'll have to take that down to the store and buy another remote control."
Then I explained that the universal controller probably wouldn't work, and he shouldn't mess with getting another one. Then I explained why the remote control for the DVD players doesn't work.
Thank God it Saint Patrick's day. Evening is on the way. I'll see my favorite bartender.
My dad has a DVD player and a VCR attached to the television in the living room. He has another television in the kitchen and another television in the bathroom. Each one of these devices has a remote control. When he loses one, he often buys a "universal remote" controller and uses that instead. Today we attempted to use the DVD player. An two hours later he's a very frustrated 90 year old, and I have a pulled neck muscle, and the DVD player still won't work.
First we had to find the remote control that went to the DVD player. That necessitated a search and identify mission through the seat cushions of the easy chair, the couch, removal of several years worth of magazines, books and papers, with no remote being found. I did, however, find a .38 pistol in a plastic bag he keeps in the easy chair when it fell out and hit my foot. But I am getting ahead of myself.
The first twenty minutes were spent trying to explain to him that the DVD player had to have it's own remote control (no, the Universal remotes won't work - they don't have an open/close button for the tray). After I got that, the next fifteen minutes were spent figuring out the wiring between the auxiliary inputs and the Video input on the television and which remote worked with the VCR, and which input enabled it on the television. Then I had to explain that the VCR remote control won't work with the other devices, and the universal remote control won't work with the DVD player (see, it has an open/close function for the tray, which won't open with a button on the front of the DVD player, so I surmised it must have a dedicated remote control somewhere).
I knew this would happen one day and I have been dreading it. But it was a Clint Eastwood movie, so I figured what the hell. Clint Eastwood, man. Maybe I could get things going with a minimum of confusion.
Meanwhile, my father has collected every remote control in the house and has started going through them from device to device. No, that won't work. No, that doesn't work. Nope, not that one. Yup, that's the one for the kitchen.
In a moment of Einsteinien inspiration, I opened the cabinet next to the television. There was a remote control. It was the same brand as the DVD player. Ah, I thought. Success.
No button seemed to work anything on the DVD player. I removed the batteries and began to look for batteries in the drawers. I found them. About twenty. All in various states, all by different makers, so I removed the old batteries, noting their condition and maker, and noticed the corrosion filling the battery compartment. Ok, well I scraped off the terminals, selected the best looking candidates from all the AAA batteries I found, and started plugging them in, trying the remote, twisting, turning, etc.
Meanwhile, my father was busy with the pod of remote controls he had in his lap, pointing them at the television and changing channels, turning it off and on, changing functions to the VCR (no dad, that's not it, see the light on the DVR? We need the DVD light to go on and off.). During this process he managed to deprogram the television so it would not connect to cable. I know mare about the television remote control and cable setup now than I ever wanted to know. So, after I got the cable hooked up, programmed, and running normally again he made the comment that "sometimes the tv goes out by itself then comes back in a few hours or days. That's ok...."
So after a while messing around with the drawer full of batteries and playing with the DVD remote control I determined that I still might be using bad batteries. So, I took one remote control that worked and removed the batteries from it and swapped them with the ones in the DVD remote control. Still nothing.
Meanwhile, my dad has picked up the remote control w/o batteries and has been trying it on different televisions. His cussing alerted me to the fact he had put "new" batteries from the drawer into the remote control that had no batteries.
This is the point where I think I pulled my neck muscle.
So, holding the known good batteries, I have determined that the DVD remote control either doesn't work any more or the thing is broken. I explained this to my father while I set up the cable programming again on the television. Then I helped him to identify the remote control for the television in the living room and the universal that worked on it, and I put the batteries back into the remote control for the kitchen television. But I had mentioned the funky batteries, and my dad went and found a battery tester that looked like it was pulled of a classic model Buick car, and began testing batteries as he removed them from remote controls.
I explained again that we weren't going to be able to use the DVD player because it had only one remote control, with the manufacturer logo (A-Star), and it didn't work so don't bother with that one. Sensing increasing levels of his frustration, I decided then to return to my "cell" and find something to do while he tested batteries. An hour later he had finished and identified the working remotes for the various televisions and had them properly placed. Then he asked me if we could watch the Clint Eastwood movie in the DVD player.
"No, dad, the remote control ... the player ... it's broken. It doesn't work."
"Oh, well, sh*t. I'll have to take that down to the store and buy another remote control."
Then I explained that the universal controller probably wouldn't work, and he shouldn't mess with getting another one. Then I explained why the remote control for the DVD players doesn't work.
Thank God it Saint Patrick's day. Evening is on the way. I'll see my favorite bartender.
The crab trap continues to vex me.
Well, not the trap itself, but the crabs. My last attempt at raiding the crustacean haven off the end of the dock, using a couple pounds of rotten bacon, came to naught. So far I've used old bologna, old steaks, old head cheese and old olive loaf (all in varying stages of decomposition). I've put one of my first attempts on video, below. It's rather boring, so consider this just a look at what not to do.
The first bait I tried was headcheese.
The result: no luck. Head cheese was missing but no crab had been trapped.
Here's a quick video of the trap - it's hard to see, since it's made of black plastic coated wire, but you can make it out if you look closely enough.
Here's a video of the bait I used from the 'frig.
And here's a POV walkout to where the crab trap is currently positioned as of yesterday.
Stay tuned for further news, and upcoming videos!
I double I will be doing much outside today. It's raining like crazy. There's enough to do in the house anyway. I am going to remove drawers and attempt to locate the hole where rats and mice and snakes are getting into the house. There's gonna be a lot of crawling around today. Stay tuned!
Well, not the trap itself, but the crabs. My last attempt at raiding the crustacean haven off the end of the dock, using a couple pounds of rotten bacon, came to naught. So far I've used old bologna, old steaks, old head cheese and old olive loaf (all in varying stages of decomposition). I've put one of my first attempts on video, below. It's rather boring, so consider this just a look at what not to do.
The first bait I tried was headcheese.
The result: no luck. Head cheese was missing but no crab had been trapped.
Here's a quick video of the trap - it's hard to see, since it's made of black plastic coated wire, but you can make it out if you look closely enough.
Here's a video of the bait I used from the 'frig.
And here's a POV walkout to where the crab trap is currently positioned as of yesterday.
Stay tuned for further news, and upcoming videos!
I double I will be doing much outside today. It's raining like crazy. There's enough to do in the house anyway. I am going to remove drawers and attempt to locate the hole where rats and mice and snakes are getting into the house. There's gonna be a lot of crawling around today. Stay tuned!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
The saga continues.
Over the past few days I've been suffering with allergies that have kept me down. However, application of many different blends of over the counter medications have helped get it out of my system. During the time I've been off the blog, a number of things have happened.
Still applying to any freelance writing job I can find. I think my age and lack of a Bachelor Degree are holding me down, but that doesn't effect my personal writing. I've been adding more chapters to the "saga" that was published at JukepopSerials (up to Ch. 4). While the subject matter is laden with topics I don't work with anymore, I find it to be a fresh change of pace and plan to continue it for quite some time. Who knows? Tolkien penned his stories without any prior history of elves, hobbits, and orcs and, well, you know how that went. I'm not trying to say I have anywhere near his level of talent, but maybe I can make an interesting story anyways. That's really all I want.
I am under constant observation from the many animals that live on the property.
Over the past few days I've been suffering with allergies that have kept me down. However, application of many different blends of over the counter medications have helped get it out of my system. During the time I've been off the blog, a number of things have happened.
Still applying to any freelance writing job I can find. I think my age and lack of a Bachelor Degree are holding me down, but that doesn't effect my personal writing. I've been adding more chapters to the "saga" that was published at JukepopSerials (up to Ch. 4). While the subject matter is laden with topics I don't work with anymore, I find it to be a fresh change of pace and plan to continue it for quite some time. Who knows? Tolkien penned his stories without any prior history of elves, hobbits, and orcs and, well, you know how that went. I'm not trying to say I have anywhere near his level of talent, but maybe I can make an interesting story anyways. That's really all I want.
I am under constant observation from the many animals that live on the property.
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